How did you settle your family feud?

Disagreements over financial issues can cause rifts among family members. How have you settled -- or prevented -- a fight with relatives? Share your experiences and tips with other Kiplinger's readers.

I do not know all of the details, since this happened before I married my wife, but her side of the family had two fallings-out after deaths in the family. Squabbles, even outright ugliness and hateful words were said. Time healed some wounds (between siblings), but it is horrible how greed can damage, or even destroy strong family bonds.

I bet there are a lot of stories that will follow this pattern. I do not even know if good estate planning can fix all problems, but I am sure it helps.

I had an aunt who stole about $332,000 from a trust left for me and four other children (including her children)

When it was time for her to face the music she attempted suicide. The short story is I recovered what was due, but it wasn't easy. I had a pretty good lawyer that helped with collecting.

Did your aunt survive?

When my geographically distant dad died a sister said unkind things about my desire to share some of his things while we were all together in one place. She wanted to wait. We were different before he died and his death brought that out. I have less contact with her now and don't look forward to the time when my mom dies. It's not much of a solution, but I don't want to engage in ugliness. I hope my mom and her lawyer have done some good work together so each sibling can talk with him instead of the sibling executor if necessary. I have talked with my mom about as much as she is comfortable to hear. I'd like to stay in touch with siblings on a non hot topic basis.

Protect yourself and keep checking if there is a trust. I totally trusted a sibling. We always got along and agreed on things in the family...I found out when my dad died, within a year she had him eliminate me as co trustee, then the next year had him change my share in the estate to 5%! He had Alzheimer's Disease!! There was a behavior change in her, she became sharp tounged and controlling. It should have been a red flag for me. I was so stunned and saddened by this trechery done to me and surely did not deserve this. Now I have to prove my dad did not have the cognitive ability to sign these changes. she had to brainwash him or?? Lawyers are costly, but I have one now and we are working on her deceit and greed. BEWARE OF ANY RELATIVE. I TRUSTED AND GOT SHAFTED--OR MAYBE NOT?? :